journeyofaloser

July 1, 2011

Week 1

Filed under: Uncategorized — journeyofaloser @ 8:07 pm

So I’ve been on vacation for about a week and a half.  I was very excited to find out that I hadn’t gained the usual traveling weight.  After only a few days, I realized that my weight was going down little by little every day instead of the usual holding steady or going up.  Wahoo!  Definitely very excited about that.  I decided to go against what I usually do and record my weight in sp every day and blog about it here.  Well, this is the first day I’ve actually gotten around to it.  Must be my really busy schedule…

I just went to try to get my daily weights from sp, and apparently I can’t…it’s only giving me numbers rounded to the nearest whole.  And I also didn’t put it in there the first couple days I was here.  But I do remember my first weight, so here’s how it goes so far…

6/23 – 228.8

7/1 – 227.8

I had some fluctuation in there.  For example, on 6/24, I was up to 230.something because I drank with my dad the night before.  I was down to 227.2 at some point.  But I know why I am having the increases and all, so that’s better than usual.

I have also started the couch to 5K program once again.  It’s actually cool enough here that I can do that without feeling like I’m going to die.  The first day I did that was on Tuesday.  I decided to go for a walk to clear my head.  I figured since I was going, I might as well try day one of week one to see how out of shape I was.  I did it!  I did two laps around town.  As I was about a block from home, I realized that I wasn’t very far from finishing a 5K, so I went ahead and did the whole distance in order to give myself a starting time for it.  I did walk slower at several points than I would have if that was my plan from the start.  But does that really matter?  I finished in one hour and 23 seconds.

Week 1, Day 2 happened yesterday.  I also did that without a problem.  Well…as little problem as an overweight person can have.  Tomorrow is day three, and then I move on to week 2.

I have found that the hardest part of starting this is that I will return home and the heat will make it very hard for me to keep up with what I’ve already accomplished.  The only real option is to get up really early (like 5 or 6 a.m.) to go walk/run, and even then it’s still pretty hot.  But is that really an option once I’ve been used to going to bed late and sleeping in?  I am going to do my very best this year.

June 15, 2011

Week Three of exercise

Filed under: Uncategorized — journeyofaloser @ 2:46 pm

Okay, so I started a SparkPeople challenge of exercising for at least ten minutes, five days a week for four weeks.  Several times.  The last time I started it was weeks ago.  I made it through week one and week two.  I also started watching what I was eating.  A few pounds went away.

Then I got sick…

That’s what always gets me…

I told myself that if I started exercising again as soon as I was feeling better, I could count that as week three.  Now that may seem like cheating to you.  But for me, it was motivation.  And really, isn’t the point to take action?  You see, getting sick always derails my exercise routines.  I never get back to it once I’m better.  Well, yesterday, even though I was still coughing some, I went for it.  And I did the same today.  And it feels good.

I actually got better allergy medicine yesterday, which I had been out of for a while.  That has done wonders for my cough, which is hopefully going to stop completely soon.  Especially because dh commented on how I was still coughing quite a bit the other day, and that usually means there’s a trip to the doctor soon.  But I’m going to do my best to get my allergies under control again and continue on with my exercise crusade!

May 29, 2011

Numbers don’t define me

Filed under: Uncategorized — journeyofaloser @ 3:52 am

When you are trying to lose weight and be healthy, remembering that the number on the scale doesn’t define who you are can be very difficult. When you lose the weight you want, you feel great about your efforts. But when you do everything right and your body holds onto those pounds, it can be so frustrating. I’ve been there. I know.

Right now I’m dealing with other numbers defining me, though. At work, my boss is looking at numbers generated from three hours of work to define how I have performed all year. I know that those numbers do not define me. I know that those numbers may or may not represent my hard work for the year. However, I can’t help but lose sleep and worry and be frustrated. It has me considering a new career. Even though I love my job during most of the year, I despise it right now. All because of these numbers.

I have realized that now the only thing I can do is pray and hand these feelings over to God. I am doing better with that. If only it were easier in the middle of the night…

May 28, 2011

Migraines and Stress

Filed under: Uncategorized — journeyofaloser @ 12:08 am

Migraines and stress…two things that can greatly affect weight loss.  For me, migraines and stress are not related, though they used to be.  In the past, when I would experience either, I would eat.  Eat whatever I could get my hands on.

Unfortunately, I still do that whenever I have a bad migraine.  This past week, I went several days with a migraine, and I became completely irrational about food.  The day of the worst headache, I ate way more for lunch than I needed to…to the point that I ate myself sick.  I even knew that I was full and kept eating.  A few hours later, I ate a large bowl of dirt pudding that was left over from a get together we were at the night before.  Did it help?  Well, I guess it fulfilled my irrational need to eat, but then on top of the migraine, I was sick to my stomach from eating too much.  A bit counterproductive I would say.

The big problem is that I know that when I have a migraine, I become completely irrational.  I could sit and eat a whole bag of cheetos…or scarf down a whole pint of Ben and Jerry’s (okay, so I could do that just about any day).  I could eat so many things, knowing that it was stupid but not able to stop myself.  Chips and ice cream tend to be my biggest downfalls, but dirt pudding sure was what got me on Sunday.  On Tuesday evening, I really wanted ice cream…to the point that I was obsessing about it.  We didn’t have any in the house.  My wonderful, giving husband offered to go get me some, but I told him not to.  I figured if I still wanted it the next day, I could stop on my way home from work.  Being as thoughtful as he is, when he stopped at the store to get stuff for dinner then next night, he get me some ice cream.  By that point my headache was pretty much gone.  I haven’t even touched the ice cream yet.  It’s been in the freezer for three nights, and I haven’t touched it.  I think that’s a record for me.  I also think that my body is trying to recover from all the food I consumed during the couple days I had the headache.

The other problem?  Stress.  I have been experiencing that the last few days because of work.  The good news about stress is that I have learned over the past couple years to not eat my emotions when I’m stressed out.  That has helped.  If I remember correctly, the way I broke that habit was writing in a journal whenever I was feeling like I was about to start emotional eating.

Now to figure out how to do the same with migraines…

May 22, 2011

Last night…

Filed under: Uncategorized — journeyofaloser @ 8:47 am

So last night I went to a friend’s house for a get together.  Everyone brought some sort of food, so you know there was tons of good food everywhere.  I don’t usually do well with that and find that I eat a ton.  However, I knew most of what was going to be there ahead of time, so I put that into my SparkPeople food tracker to make sure I was going to make good choices.  With that put in, I was still at the low end of my calorie range.  That helped because I didn’t feel completely restricted…I could still enjoy a yummy treat (in a small portion, of course) that I didn’t know was going to be there.

Off I went with my painted nails to help me remember to be good…

While we were there, I had a lot of fun.  I was able to hang out with people I don’t normally get to see that much.  And I did a great job with food.  Because I went in with a plan and knew what I was doing, I didn’t find myself scarfing down food or hanging out by the food table.  I did eat some salsa that a friend brought and had a few more chips than I had planned.  Literally a few.  But it was okay that I had the salsa and extra chips because I left room in my calorie range.I would not let myself pile my plate with food.  I took small portions.  Often times in those situations, I find that even if I don’t eat a ton, I become obsessed with it.  That didn’t happen last night.  I was not obsessed with food in the least, and I just enjoyed the company.  I admit that I did think about eating a peanut butter cookie or a chocolate chip cookie, but I didn’t do it.  And I didn’t feel deprived or obsess over it even though I love both kinds of cookies.

And do you know what happened?  The scale was down this morning, and I could just feel a difference.  Amazing!  This feeling of success I have is so much better than the few moments of good tasting food would have been.

May 21, 2011

Oh yeah…

Filed under: Uncategorized — journeyofaloser @ 3:09 pm

I have lost 6 pounds so far this year!  It’s nice to see that number get bigger instead of the one on the scale today.  I am going to need to remember to post that regularly since I am no longer doing my monthly goals.  I guess I could do a week by week goal through August 25, but honestly, doing that stresses me out when I don’t meet my goal for the week.  Instead, I’ll just post here and there about how much I have lost…

Starting Something Good…

Filed under: Uncategorized — journeyofaloser @ 1:47 pm

So I think that things finally started clicking this past week!  Most days I was within my calorie limit, and even when I wasn’t, I was aware of what I was doing.  My weight is down…of course, it jumped up the week before, so I’m not way down from where I was when I last posted.  But I’m still less.  Today I was at 228.8.

I sat down this morning and reset my goals on SparkPeople.  Rather than trying to go month by month, I decided to set a specific, meaningful date to aim for and set a weight goal based on that.  For my first goal, I chose the first day of the 2011-2012 school year, which is August 25.  Based on that date, a healthy weight for me to reach by that point is 202 pounds.  I can’t wait!  I know that at first I may lose more than two pounds a week because that tends to happen.  But I am guessing it’ll even out at some point because it usually does.

So what has changed this week?  The first thing is that I have been turning to God more, which is always a good idea in any situation.  I have asked him to really help me because I know that I am weak and give up easily on my own.  I have proven that over and over.  With His help this week, I have eaten less over the past week and lost several pounds.  Today I exercised, and it was great!  I know that I need to build consistency when it comes to exercise, so this is what I’m really going to focus on now.  Usually when I exercise regularly, my eating falls into place, and I lose weight faster.  An average of half a pound in two weeks and going up and down several pounds at a time just isn’t going to be good enough.

I also had an idea this week that if it doesn’t always work, it will help for the time being.  A few days ago at school, a couple of my girls wanted to paint my nails with white out during homeroom.  I, of course, let them.  For the rest of the day, my fingernails were white and kept catching my eye.  Throughout the day, an idea started brewing.  If I get some nail polish that stands out or something, and keep my nails painted, maybe that would help me remember to stick with my healthy plans more often.  After some thinking, I decided on two colors…  Blue, which is one of our school colors, to remind me that I want to lose the weight I have gained while working there.  The logical choice for the other color would be purple, because that was one of the school colors at the university I worked at before that.  However, I hated working there, and any reminders of that place make me want to eat and eat and eat…that’s why I gained over 30 pounds in the two years I was there.  So instead I got green to represent the college that I went to.  I would love to be at my college weight again!  Which part?  Any of it from the seven years I was there!  I was around 180 when I left there with my Masters, and my lowest was probably 125-130.  (A lot of the weight gain the last few years was probably due to the beer and other drinks I consumed!)  So the green is to remind me that I can, and will, be at my college weight again.  I just painted them for the first time last night, so I can’t yet say how well it will work, but it’s worth a try.  I went with green this first time because I look so forward to heading up to my alma mater this time of year.  I don’t know how often I’ll change colors or if I’ll add more colors into the mix…we’ll just have to wait and see.  My first big test will be this evening because some of my friends and I are having a cook out…I have already put what I plan to eat in my tracker to make sure it fits within my calories to help out a little.  But it’s always harder once I’m in the situation and having a good time with my friends.

Today I signed up for a challenge in June that one of my SparkTeams is doing.  It’s a pedometer challenge.  In the first seven days, I will have to walk at least 2,500 steps per day.  That should not be a problem for me at all as I usually get at least 4,000 steps a day and usually more.  The next seven days will be at least 5,000 steps per day.  That is around what I get now, so it shouldn’t be too hard to do.  (I am okay with the first two weeks not being a huge challenge because I will be finishing up the school year then and will need to be focused elsewhere as well.)  The next seven days I need to aim for 7,500 steps, and the last seven days, I need to be getting in 10,000 steps per day.  Since that is when my vacation technically starts, it’ll be good to have a specific goal already set.  Without that, I would probably do what I normally do and keep saying I’ll start the next day and all of a sudden it’s time for the next school year to start.  Not this year!  Being part of this challenge will also help me to get a really good start on the couch to 5K program that I keep trying to start but the struggle with.  Since I will be on vacation, I won’t have a very good excuse to not be doing it.

One last thing I have decided to do is find a picture of me looking great in college.  I’ll then set it as the picture on my phone as an added reminder of what I will look like at the end of my journey.

I am feeling really good about the path I am on and the goals I have set.  I can’t wait to report the outstanding results!

May 3, 2011

Patience is Important

Filed under: Uncategorized — journeyofaloser @ 7:39 pm

I had a talk with myself today…to remind myself that I need to be patient.  I have a tendency to give up if I don’t get instant results.  Guess that’s why I’m in the shape I’m in, huh?  Anyway…on Sunday, I weighed 229.2.  Yesterday, I weighed 230.2.  Normally, I would let that frustrate me and not count calories as carefully as I should.  However, I stuck with it yesterday and exercised as well.  It paid off because today I was 229.8 (I think).  Not quite to where I was on Sunday, but I usually weigh more during the week than on weekends.  So things may not happen instantaneously, but if I keep working, I will get the desired results after a while.

I counted my calories today, even though I went over a bit.  (I ended up eating fast food for dinner and didn’t do a good job of making healthy choices.)  But my calorie total for today is still less than I had been getting before I became more serious about healthiness.  I exercised for the second day in a row.  Wii Fit again.  It was fun.  Now I’m drinking lots more water.  Exercise helped me get closer to my steps per day goal.  (As of right now, the goal is 6,000…I will raise it by 1,000 increments once I reach the current goal for a week or two straight…my ultimate goal is 10,000 steps per day.)

May 2, 2011

Does it really just happen?

Filed under: Uncategorized — journeyofaloser @ 8:24 pm

So I was just thinking about my last post…yes, it was probably less than an hour ago that I finished it.  In that post, I commented on how I thought my sister had great progress, but I was not happy with my similar progress.  That made me remember something that happened in last week’s episode of The Biggest Loser.

Jillian was talking with one of the contestants, and she was frustrated because this young girl is still lacking self-confidence after being on the ranch for so long.  (I think it’s been 12 weeks or so.)  She started yelling at the girl because she has made so much progress…lost almost 100 pounds and doing very well…but still feels like she isn’t doing well.  I am sure that much of the conversation was edited out, especially since the episode was only one hour instead of the usual two.  But it was just like all of a sudden, this girl started talking about how she finally had the self-confidence.  They were sitting on the same bench that they were when they started talking, it was the same day, but it was just like, oh yeah, I know that I am awesome.

So here’s my question…  How does that change of perspective happen?  And how does it happen so quickly?

I know that I had several things happen in the last couple days that have helped my state of mind, and ultimately my desire to continue to be successful.  Losing several pounds…being less than 230…reaching the goal I set on Wii Fit…staying within my calorie range for a couple days…  But do these few things make me know how amazing I am?  Do they completely stop the negative talk that goes on in my head?  Maybe it should.  But I don’t know how to do that.  I suppose this is something that I need to ponder, but I don’t know if I can come up with it by myself.  Especially since I’ve known that self-confidence has been an issue for a very long time, and I haven’t been able to fix it yet.  I guess I need to confront what has made me feel inadequate in just about every way.  But I think I’ll save that for another day…

It’s already May!

Filed under: Uncategorized — journeyofaloser @ 7:52 pm

So I didn’t update here at all during April after the beginning of the month.  That doesn’t mean that I haven’t been working on being healthier.  Have I been perfect?  Absolutely not.  Have I done better?  Yep.  So here it is…

May goals/actual weight:

  • 3-26:  SW 231.0
  • 4-30: 226.0 / 229.2
I didn’t write down my weight each week…and somehow, my weigh-in day has changed from Saturday to Sunday, but I’m okay with that.  I didn’t lose the five pounds that I wanted to, but I did lose 1.8 pounds.  Not great, but still better than a weight gain!  So far in 2011, I have lost 5.6 pounds!  I know that isn’t really a great amount for four months, but again…I haven’t lost weight.  At this point, that is the important thing to me.
I don’t know why, but I feel like I am more ready to get moving than I have in a very long time.  Last week I lost several pounds.  (Yes, there was a little bit of time in April that I gained weight as I was trying to reach deadlines, etc.)  I have not only tracked my calories for the last two days, but I have stayed within my recommended calorie range.  I exercised today, and it was a lot of fun.  I did Wii Fit, which I think some people think isn’t really a work out, but I sure did work up a sweat.  I am going to do my best to get an exercise streak going!
About my Wii Fit session today…I first have to admit that it had been 70 days since I last used it.  It was kind of annoying that it had to remind me of that.  Oh well.  The exciting thing was that I have lost enough weight in those 70 days that I met the goal I had set.  I don’t remember exactly what goal I set, but it was a certain BMI.  I was less than the goal I set.  Wahoo!  That really boosted me up!  And my Wii Fit Age was 23…significantly less than my actual age.  Yay!  I have decided that I am going to try to lose two pounds a week starting now.  Instead of just making a few tiny changes here and there, I’m going to really work on making more changes.  Still small, but not tiny.  That means that by the time I leave for vacation, I should be able to lose about 14 pounds.  Would I like to lose more than that?  Definitely!  But I would rather have people see me at 215 than 229 pounds.
As I’m blogging, I’m also chatting with my sister.  We are talking about our weight loss progress, and I was complaining a little bit that I haven’t even lost one and a half pounds each month this year.  She said that she has lost 25-30 pounds in the past year, and I told her that was awesome and I would probably be happy with that.  After doing the math, I realized that would require a loss of two to two and a half pounds a month.  Since I’m amping up my efforts here, I could totally do that.  She of course pointed that out to me.  Isn’t it funny how one thing sounds great for someone else, but then when it comes to me, I’m way harder on myself?  I need to stop that!  It makes me think of a P!nk song I was listening to on my way home from work that said something about how you shouldn’t talk so bad about yourself.  I need to learn that!  So here we go…
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